In the world of lies, you are the truth.
January 14, 2011Swinging mood.
Puncanya satu saja, tapi terbawa-bawa sampai semua benda pun aku rasa macam mendatangkan depresi.
- Getting rid of my old stuff. Semua tu akan masuk stor esok. Yes dah 11.51PM but what the hell. I want to do it now. Nanti saya decide nak buat apa dengan semua-semua tu. Anggap ini sebagai titik mula. I've made lots of damages and mistakes. To other people life, and to my own life. LOTS. Especially to myself.
- Some things cannot be changed, kecualilah kalau kau ada mesin masa. Or maybe it is because I haven't fully let go yet. But I will someday.
- I can't help being a perfectionist. Dan saya mengaku semua itu yang buat saya selalu tertekan. I truly can't stand jika ada sesuatu dalam hidup atau planning saya tiba-tiba ada something wrong. I want everything go perfect, ideal dengan apa yang ada dalam imaginasi dan minda saya. BUT. There's something in my life; the one imperfect choice I ever made in my life, but, yang imperfect inilah yang sering buat aku rasa perfect. I don't want this, but I guess something in me is needing that kind of imperfectness. Pernah ke rasa macam ni. Kamu tak suka, tapi kamu tau kamu tak boleh hidup tanpanya. I am suffering, tahu tak. Being perfect is fake. Being imperfect is truth. Which way?
- My kitten died.
- I wish I can tell, but I can't. I can't tell so why blog? Why am I still here? Craps je aku cakap semua. I can't speak up my mind. Semua macam terpasung. Saya sendiri dah tak pasti apa tujuan saya berblog. Semata-mata untuk penuhi hobi suka menulis even craps saja semua, atau berdiari, atau APA. I can't write things I would want to share and tell you the most. So, *!@#$%^&.
Delusions!
2 comments
Aiyark akak!
ReplyDeletePenat actually jd perfectionist ni.I feel that.
Sorry atas kematian ur kitten.
Yes,I have blog tapi tak terluah semua.Purpose ada blog agak ragu2.
amalmeor,
ReplyDeletewe want everything be perfect kan, then bila ada yang go wrong, i feel like fall hard..
about kitten, it's okey.. i feel bad for not being a good owner. at least, not good enuf.
itula amal, nak stop blog, tak boleh. hehe ;) we'll figure out smthing :)