Eyes cannot close early tonight. Time like this, I like to ; write something in blog. Hence, this entry.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! *tiba-tiba*
Tidaklah terlalu lambat untuk post new year -ish entry
dekat sini kan, sebab masih bulan January lagi dan New Year is still ON until Chinese New Year wut haha. I've seen lots of blog entries about azam (dan not doing azam which is still okey because it's just one's personal choice) and this is the time when I
wish to start with mine HAHA! Lambat pun lambatlah!
I still remember all those faces who loved me so much, who hate to see me making wrong decisions in life.
Who want to see me progressing. So many years already I do not make any azam, or adapun tidak serious dan main-main. Well. I'm sorry I've taken it
all for granted, but I'm doing fine now.
2014 is the hardest year I've ever had to go through.
- Setelah sejak 9 tahun dalam dunia tarian, saya akhirnya completely simpan semua barang-barang tarian masuk stor, tidak sentuh for one whole year, even donates our Magunatip bamboo kepada satu sekolah di Ranau yang pernah jemput saya ajar tarian. Damn I really miss those moments especially time buat show. I miss the feeling of working together in one team at single shot on the same stage but life goes on as it neeeever ends. Eyes of stone obseeerve the treeends.... (klise)
- I kept on dreaming of horrible things. Even when I was driving. I honestly was living in fear. I cried almost every time out of uncertainty and broken promises and for many other reason
- Awal November accident. It's just recently baru start pegang kereta balik
- I'm considered open-minded but ada beberapa perkara yang aku adalah terlalu tersangat terlampau dan terover degil, which, a bit annoying .. and problematic.. Because it means I don't always accept changes
- Entahlah apa lagi. For sure memang struggle habis lah tahun lepas T__________T
Although I have so many sad stories throughout the year to begin with, ironically I feel blessed with what I got to experience in 2014.
- January 2014 saya berhenti kerja and start a business together with husband dan alhamdulillah this job pays us well more than our previous gaji. I honestly cannot do well working under anyone's authorities
- I got a chance bonding time with dear sister for the first time - and since then we kinda decide we'll have this girl day out -ish some other time whenever time permits. Could be annual
- Went to Langkawi, Penang, Kuala Lumpur which I visited multiple times years before - reminiscence the forgotten old days
- Went to uss, krabi, hatyai, Bali, Jakarta and Bandung for the first time too. I love Bali the most!
- And I booked myself tickets out from Sabah for this coming April 2015 and January 2016, with some little secret projects (praying everything will go as planned)
- I also got reunioned with 2 of the partners in crime walaupun sadly korum tidak cukup
- Realized some few changes in myself. Oh not just a few. A lot in me have changed now. I feel like I'm not the old Hasnie Falina anyone might ever know. I'm rapidly changing these past few years. Developed new perspectives but not necessarily wiser hehe
And the main part is ;
Azam.
Yes, I don't do azam for so many long time. So this year, I've think about some and I wish to achieve them in next two years (2015 and 2016). Hambik dua tahun terus kau. I wanna do everything at my own pace. One year feels so short. So... btw. Some of them ;
- To completely forgive myself and my past, and keep looking forward
- Slowly mend broken relationships or at least not try to make it worse. Have more quality time with family
- To accept that I am actually NOT a travel junkie. Will only book flights for once a year. 2017 for short family vacation and 2018 for husband and wife long vacation or along with the friends. I decided to do it once a year only since kami dah ada target lain
- Get out of PTPTN
- Build healthy habits/lifestyle - Divide my time better and don't procrastinate too much. Tame the bulge and drink plenty of water
- Buy a new car or have own condo/apartment in Kota Kinabalu - Insya-Allah. Tapi bayar habis PTPTN dulu (- -"). Oh more debt.
- Write more happy things - Which means I'll still write in my blog for 2015 and 2016. Since 2006 almost 10 years, no sign of stopping XD
- Belajar buat kek
- Get a baby, maybe? Haha..
Okey this is going to be a bit childish but what the hell.
- Get myself a digital camera because dslr is too bulky!
- Get myself an iphone! - For the sake of instagram, which I know - STUPID REASON muahahahh!
- Portable aircond
- Servis laptop dan tambah RAM laptop ke 3GB sebab nak install The Sims 4. Lol. Eventually I am still The Sims game junkie. Boleh lupa dunia okek. Kahkah.
- Etc.
Oi gila banyak. Ni belum lagi yang tidak ditulis. Nampak Etc tu? The list goes on and on.. Tak stress banyak benda nak kena capai?? A little bit of stress is good but I need to remind myself not to stress myself too much. Buat pelan-pelan at own pace. That's why I started a business anyway. Sebab aku tidak tahan berada di bawah masa dan arahan dan kongkongan orang lain. Sekurang-kurangnya setengah dari itu dapat dicapai by my next birthday. These two years are gonna be a long journey for yours truly.. But, Insya-Allah.
Ini bukan azam semata-mata untuk new year's eve. Rasanya, dalam awal November 2014 I sat and already start to think about this, about why I should start my brand new steps for 2015 and 2016. And on my 28th birthday, 1st December 2014, I've made some new resolution and brought back old broken resolutions to be accomplished before 1st December 2016. More like birthday resolution actually. I was whining in that entry, but I secretly also made some promises to myself. In just 2 years more, I'll have to see my age tukar jadi 30, tu yang terus bersemangat ubah di sana sini ngahahah. Nana, Nana. I personally think that 2015 will be good for me, and if I really want it to be good to me, I have to be good to myself first. And it would be better if this ever cross my mind during 2014. It would have saved me so much pain and damages.
There's a saying ; People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. So do not ever say or even think that people who making their resolutions are uncool erh hahaha.
Cheers for the beginning, which already started. Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.. :)
