Ah Fina dah mula dah buka cerita lama. Cerita yang sudah bertahun-tahun berlalu.

There was this guy. I don't know him much but all that I know is that : He sings. He plays guitar. He's a bit shy person. He's good looking. A nice tough body perghhhh (HAHAHA). He plays soccer too - Just like my unforgettable first love.

Feels like it's all coming back to me now (This is not a song lyric, trust me). On 24th of July (bulan ini banyak peristiwa bersejarah T__T) That guy come to me dan berterus terang he liked me, and proposing me to be his NOT girlfriend but teman hidup. What the? Hey lelaki zaman sekarang gelojoh kenapa? Ops sory. Not gelojoh. Tapi takut kehilangan KOT.

I don't know why but Allah knows how I long to hear my unforgettable first love say those kind of thing to me. Then, sure, selagi diizinkan, by this time, I am still with him. Full of LOVE. Hah. Dream on, Fina.

Anyway, about that guy. Selepas teman hidup itu saya terkena sedikit kejutan. A bit tergugat. Kalau ye pun serius, jangan guna perkataan macam tu sebarangan, boleh? Hehe, tergoda I. For your information, sebelum ni this guy cakap dia ada girlfriend (tapi always refuse to talk about her) but right before he told me about his feeling to me, he confessed he lied about the girlfriend and explained that he actually doesn't have one. He apologized for pretending he never liked me and thought that these thing will make me mad at him. He's a bit shocked to himself sebab tak sangka dia ada courage nak cakap semua ni dan sekarang, dia sedang berharap untuk sebuah peluang. OMG. Sekarang ini, he's waiting for my answer (which i donno sampai bila laaa dia sanggup tunggu). Dia kata dia sanggup tunggu sampai saya ada jawapan. I didn't ask him to wait for me okey. Saya tak minta pun. Dia sendiri nak so fine but I've warn him takut nanti dia rasa tak berbaloi kalau when the time comes, my answer will make him disappointed. Seriously I can't promise him a YES for some unknown reasons but yet, to be known..

Well, he's a down-to-earth person. You know me, I am a kind of individualistic. For me what's important is me me and me. No body else except for my family. I was born with it what to do? Maybe it's Maybellinne. HAHA. Saja promote product Maybellinne sebab saya guna Maybellinne padahal ejaan Maybellinne tak pasti sangat - ok ketawa lah. Sambung balik. I experienced the more you trust people, the risk is much more wide open. You have only you in this world so trust yourself more. I believe in that. Still, I am just like you guys. I trust people, but once they break it, it's hard to gain my trust again. Jadi sekarang mari kita kira perkataan trust dalam perenggan ini pula (- -")

"Why me?"
"Mungkin jodoh. Saya suka dengan cara Fina yang tegas dan nak yang terbaik. And I trust you, I like you the way you are. Just be Fina that I know and you already make me choose you."

Ok you know you can't compare him to Shakespears. But I know he's being realistic. Tiada melankolik-melankolik.

But again, nah. Maybe you do remind me to my unforgettable first love (why perlu letak kaler fancy macam ni, saya pun tak tahu) but it is still a long way to win my heart. Will or never will, itu awak yang mahu kan. I jadi takut kalau TERbagi any hope sebab saya tak mahu persahabatan kita tercemar sebenarnya. For now, I am still okay. We're still okay, but sayang jika persahabatan putus bila kelak things don't go the way you want (mungkin).

How did I know him? Like this. Dia ni blog reader. Kawan kepada dua orang blogger UUM lelaki. that happen to be my friends. Dalam list blogger dua orang ni, dia terjumpa la blog saya sebab dalam list diorang cuma ada saya sebagai blogger UUM perempuan. Klik-klik dan baca-baca sebagai silent reader, dia pun tegur kat YM. Mula-mula borak macam tu je kemudian dia bagitau la dia pelajar UUM juga dan yang lain sorry tak boleh dedahkan T__T Tapi kitorang dekat je sebenarnya, kenal je yang tak pernah dan dia pun tak pernah nampak. Pelik juga but takpelah sekarang kan sedang berkawan biasa. Kadang-kadang (kadang-kadang heh?) dia akan mesej tanya khabar, mengingatkan untuk jangan kerja kuat sangat dan jaga kesihatan. Thanks for that. But sorry, no answer for now. I already explained it all to you so I know you understand.

Cuz I think I might broke his heart. Or might not. Or might YES.

He's now on his way back to Kuala Lumpur. Have a safe journey okey. I know by the time you read this, you are already at home ;)