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Sometimes when a girl says 'NO', take that as a real answer.

June 22, 2011

Just sharing my love experience.

I just got a phone call from him, rakan sekampus dan a good friend of mine back then when I was a student. Dia orang KL. Menetap dan kerja di situ. Kadang-kadang dia sebenarnya akan contact, tanya khabar, dan dia tidak lepas dari mengenang kisah waktu kami ke Tasik Jitra satu waktu dulu beberapa hari sebelum kami bawa haluan balik ke negeri masing-masing. Since then belum pernah jumpa lagi. He always tell me that was the best moment he ever had with me. Perhaps,

Time tu nak masuk ke kawasan Tasik Jitra pun boleh sesat. Sempat lagi dia membebel sebab dia sangka saya tahu jalan ke sana HAHA saya tahu tapi agak terlupa kehkeh. Sampai dekat sana, kami ambil sewa ride kereta ala-ala macam kereta golf (saya tak tahu what exactly we call it) dan pusing keliling track di Tasik Jitra yang besar tu. Lepas tu naik basikal air berbasikal atas tasik. Tapi separuh jalan sajalah sebab ya Allah tak larat I nak ke hujung hehe.

It have been more than a year ago. Around April 2010.

And if you want to know, yes, he seems still in love with me. Unfortunately, dari awal perkenalan kami sampailah sekarang, saya tidak pernah anggap dia lebih dari kawan.. Anyway, kami kenal bermula dari blog saya juga waktu saya masih berblog di http://sufilara.blogspot.com sekitar awal 2008 rasanya. Dia baca blog dan kemudian tegur dekat YM. Sebab kami satu kampus, saya pun terima sajalah perkenalan tu. Lagipun kolej bersebelahan saja time tu HAHA.. Then kami jumpa dan bersahabat sampai sekarang. And he still did remember makanan yang I makan waktu pertama kali kami jumpa. Hehe. Saja mengimbau kenangan.

Everytime, he'll ask if I can give him a little space in my heart.. And if I do, dia nak hantar terus rombongan. Isk. Okeylah, I did warn him, jangan gurau pasal hal tu, saya cakap. He laughed tengok saya menggelabah. Or, memang lelaki zaman sekarang ni anggap perkahwinan tu perkara yang boleh dibuat gurauan?

(Well I remember the first day I dated Zul, he asked me to be his wife. But now, hati siapa yang paling terluka?)

He did came after he knows about my break-up with Zul, and untuk kesekian kali saya rasa bersalah sebab saya sememangnya tidak mampu mencintai dia - lebih-lebih lagi dengan keadaan saya waktu itu.

And not only him. My ex-boyfriend dekat Sarawak pun did came back the day he knows about my break-up. Asking for chances. But, no. Saya bukan mudah mengaku kalah dalam mempertahankan hubungan selagi saya berada dalam hubungan tu. Everyone knows that. But once I fully let go, I'll never turn my back around.

I believe that if somebody fails to appreciate who you are; if someone is so blind - blind enough to not see what's good for him, right underneath his nose ; foolish enough to take for granted everything a girl could give him, then it's best you let him be - in his own world, not knowing what he missed. And it will forever be his loss.

My ex dekat Sarawak? He's just one simple proof of this quote.

First point is, kita tak boleh paksa hati kita untuk jatuh cinta kan. Dan second point, kita menangis air mata darah pun tak akan pernah dapat kembalikan kasih yang telah hilang akibat luka terdalam yang kita tinggalkan dalam hati dia. Please elaborate.

ha ha.


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