Hello guys. Apa aktiviti hari Ahad? :)

Had a late night conversation with this guy last night. Ohya. He saw the picture, as he's one of my blog reader WITHOUT my knowing. Bulan kebelakangan ini je dia confess dia sebenarnya baca blog ini. If ever he saw my face turned reddish waktu tu.. LOL.

I wanna remember LAST NIGHT. 14 August 2010. He said something that ends like something like this (sorry, doesn't feel the need to publish the whole messages) : I don't wanna get jealous over some chinese look people from ..where ever he's from, ever again. I just want to always be with you. Dia juga cakap, if we keep being in this way, eventually someone else gonna get in our way, and sooner after that, we gonna take separate way again. And, he just don't want to get through it all AGAIN.

With another messages. Banyak lagi mesej lain yang menyentuh hati, yang aku tahu dia cukup jujur.

Ya, dia tau saya selalu admire chinese looking guys.

And somehow, I was like ; tengah waras ke ni?

Sebab dah tengah malam, mungkin otak tak berapa nak betul dah. And, I just can't believe he would say something like that.. Mungkin maksud masih samar-samar, tapi saya tahu apa yang dia maksudkan. Something that, well, we keep hiding it from each other before - for the sake of our friendship. What else kan. Dia pernah cakap, dia tidak mahu step forward to try on me, cuz he saw me hurt once so dia tidak mahu dia jadi punca hati saya terluka lagi. Saya teringat dia cakap dulu, I am one of the reason he stop being a playboy. Yes he used to flirt around. HAHA. Tapi agaknya memang teruk lah kot saya bersedih dulu, sampai dia pun terus change. It's been years since he'd changed, btw.

I'm afraid that, if in future we got too far in this relationship, bukan setakat dia, tapi saya juga mungkin akan melukakan hati dia. I might broke his heart. I might hurt him. LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS ROSES. Tetap ada duri-durinya. And this is just different. He's not a stranger. Macam ex-ex sebelum ni. (wah apsal macam ramai niii.. T_T). He's a friend. A BESTFRIEND. Kalau sesuatu jadi nanti, could things be the same again?

Somehow, dulu, life used to take him to another part, and now it bring him back to me. In a doubtful way, but ALLAH do answer all prayers, kan? As I said before, we cannot deny the chemistry we both have for each other. And by day, he makes me crazier about him. Takkan..?

Our song. BHAHAHAH. Serious. This song sesuaii sangat-sangat. Ada benda saya tak sanggup nak cakap, tapi lirik lagu ni dah cakap semua yang perlu. Lagu ini dari saya untuk dia. Juga dari dia untuk saya.

Ku telah miliki
Rasa indahnya perihku
Rasa hancurnya harapku
Kau lepas cintaku

Yang seakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku

Walaupun semua hanya ada dalam mimpiku
Hanya ada dalam anganku
Ku lewati itu

Yang seakan abadi
Sekalipun kau mengerti
Sekalipun kau pahami
Ku pikir ku salah mengertimu

Aku hanya ingin kau tahu
Besarnya cintaku
Tingginya khayalku bersamamu

Tuk lalui waktu yang tersisa kini
Di setiap hariku
Di sisa akhir nafas hidupku