Innerself thoughts.

Diakui, being a housewife yang bekerja dari rumah kedengaran agak membosankan. Lagi nampak bosan kalau jarang dapat pegang kereta.. Jarang jalan-jalan.. Jarang jumpa orang.. Pendek kata ; No friends. Macamana orang boleh hidup macam ni? -----

Haha. Sayalah tu. Tak perlu guna sudut pandangan orang ketiga. Sebenarnya memang tengah cakap pasal diri sendiri. Kesiannya. Sila beri markah pada perempuan ni. Markah tahap kasihan.

I guess have less friends here not because I can't have friends. It's because I choose not to have anyone too close. Dalam hidup aku belajar, kita hanya akan terluka bila kita terlalu rapat dengan seseorang. I don't have much luck in friendship you know. I've had a friendship that betrayed with my loved one years years years ago. The pain is the sickest I have ever feel.. I've had a friendship that talked behind my back - sangat manis di depan di belakang menyalak-nyalak. I've had a friendship that turned into love but unfortunately it's only one sided because I never felt that way to him - dan persahabatan itu hancur lebur dan aku tidak mampu langsung pandang wajah dia lagi. Because seeing him that way confused me. I've had a friendship that almost turn to love but again, it fall apart. I think 2010 is my last huha with friends. Now the friends I wanna keep is the friends I still have now in my life. Other than that, it's all about awkwardness and cerita biasa-biasa. My hearts almost shuts down to a thing called new friendship mungkin hahaha.

Maybe I am wrong but I learn life the hardest way. My life is not as smooth as you so shut up tau..

My everyday life randomly consist of online customers, google, our room, household chores, husband, family, and myself. Dan punya sedikit-sedikit peluang untuk melihat dunia. Tidak banyak, sedikit demi sedikit itu cukup. I dreamt of having more than this. I dreamt of having a life better than this. But at the end of that every thought, I believe what I have now is enough. Untuk apa yang saya ada sekarang ni pun I masih struggle untuk do well, macamana bila dah ada lebih banyak? Rezeki Allah akan datang bila sampai masanya.

Entri ni lebih kepada pujuk hati sendiri sebenarnya. To kill the time. To kill the emptiness. To make full use of my monthly paid broadband. To at least adalah juga cerita dalam blog ni. It's a good thing right sebab sekarang ni dah kira rajin update. Hee. Maybe tak dapatlah macam dulu hari-hari update but at least dalam seminggu, insya-Allah I will try. Baik enough blabbering, jom tidur. Byee..

Published.